Year: 2012
Failing Forward
― John Maxwell
Happy 14!
Fourteen years ago today I completed my final radiation treatment after a whirlwind 9 months of lumps, surgeries, lost hope, chemo and finally healing. Yes it was many years ago but at this time of year it seems like yesterday.
There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world today and it can get so easy to be discouraged. I do not understand the whys behind sadness and tragedy. I think if you spend too much time on it the only result is to become bleak and bitter. Who really wants to live that way?
I thank the Lord for every new day. May we all be worthy of whatever lot in life we have been given and do our best to live in a way that truly honors Him.
Being Present for the Holidays
The holidays are here and many people will take end of the year vacation time away from work to be with family and friends. My company has a use it or lose it policy and I have several peers that are taking days and still losing time.
I know that many folks that are technically off will still find themselves working every day by responding to e-mails, attending meetings and checking performance numbers. Managers are important people with many others depending upon them. At the same time, I think there is no more important job than that of a mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, brother, sister and friend.
Jobs are temporary but your family should be forever.
It took me a long time to learn this lesson and realize that it was hurting my family and ultimately my performance at work by not truly disconnecting from time to time. Here are some ideas that have worked for me:
• Chose a POC to be in your place when gone. This requires empowering the person to make any needed decision. Set this person up for success with good information and your confidence. Let her know that you will stand by whatever decision is made. This can turn out to be great development for the person and a motivator for the team as they see others being developed.
• Turn off e-mail. The e-mail icon with a growing number can be a terrible temptation. Turning off the sync feature will keep you from sneaking a peak and helps reduce the stress of knowing there is so much waiting.
• Still need to read e-mail? Schedule yourself time when it does not interfere with the family and commit to using that time only. I do this by blocking an hour very early in the morning and again late in the afternoon.
• Put the phone down! Believe it or not the world is not going to end if you put your phone away for an entire day. Give to your spouse if you just can’t resist.
• Set a no electronics time for the entire family. Make it known that you are committing to this and that you want everyone to join.
• Be an example! When you as a manager still overtly work when off, it sends a subtle message to the team that off is not really off. Many will think they must do the same and stay connected when away. Your folks work hard and deserve a leader that cares as much about their away time as their here at work time.
Material stuff is great but in many ways the greatest gift you can give those around you this holiday season is to be fully present with them. Do it now before you find yourself someday alone with only your e-mail as a friend. Pretty hard to get a hug from e-mail huh?
What about you? How do you disconnect from work and connect with the family when off? Got any tips to share?
Luke Rides Against Cancer…and for me
With so many fallen heroes around us it would be easy to become embittered and think our world lacks people of character who live more for others than for themselves. My observation is just the opposite with Luke N. as a mighty example.
Luke in 2012 |
Luke embodies everything that is positive about the Livestrong.org movement. He is only a teen and yet inspired by Livestrong.org and the Lance Armstrong story he has raised thousands of dollars over the years to fight cancer and he has grown to be one of the top young cyclists in the state of Oklahoma. His speed is powered as much by a passion to help others as it is by the countless hours of training and racing.
Luke rides for me and Luke rides for the millions of others like me that have been impacted by cancer. He has even gone so far as to found his own fundraising ride that will grow even larger next year I am sure .
Thank you Luke for who you are and for all that you are doing for the good of others. Stay inspired, ride fast and most of all—Livestrong!
Would you like to learn more about Luke and support his continuing fight against cancer? Check out his blog site and his Luke’s5Line site.
Lance Armstrong Lied. A survivor’s perspective
With Lance in 1999 |
Finally I have come to openly accept that Lance Armstrong cheated during his reign as the Tour De France champion and as the allegations spread over the years he engaged in a fierce campaign of denial to protect his reputation, his legacy and his foundation. Whew that hurts to write yet at the same time also feels good to face the truth openly.
My Sprint Anniversary
The Sprint team from 1997 |
Today is my 16 year anniversary as an employee of Sprint and anyone that has ever spent any time with me at all knows I love being part of the wireless industry. It is rare these days to work for the same company as long as I have but I guess I am the kind of guy that sticks with things.
Really that was an amazing few years in my life. During the period between September 1995 and the end of 1997 I experienced the death of my Mother due to cancer, got married, started a new job, purchased our first home, became a father, was diagnosed with cancer and completed cancer treatments with best possible results.
Now that is a lot of change and looking back it was a time that is fully impacting me today. Experiencing so many highs and lows in such a short span of time made me resilient gave me a foundational appreciation of life that carries me forward even today.
I am thankful to Sprint for giving me the path to provide for my family. I am thankful for my wife for loving me through those changes and those we are experiencing today. Most importantly, I am thankful to my Lord has given me these extra years so that I can be sitting here today reflecting.
Happy Anniversary to me
Do you stink?
“If you learn unhappiness too well you will get good at it”
David after 11 days on the trail |
This is a great slap in the face quote I heard recently from one of my favorite podcasters. The point was that the more time we spend unhappy then the more we will become comfortable with it.
I went on an 11 day hiking trip this summer and one of the rules was that we were not allowed to wear deodorant due to it being a smellable that could potentially attract bears. I wondered before the trip if an attack from a bear would be better than the smell of a group of unwashed and un-deodorized teen boys. Whew!
I realized on the trail this was not going to be a problem since we very quickly got used to our own smells and soon none of us noticed the stink. Things changed quickly however upon my return home when suddenly the smells that had surrounded me without notice attacked the senses much like a rampaging bear. Of course much of this was due to the equally powerful remarks from my repulsed wife that was thankfully working hard to launder and restore our gear back to pre-trip freshness. Thankfully we had taken showers before leaving camp so at least she was spared that little piece of goodness.
Unhappiness is a lot like our stink. Over time the things that smell up our lives can become so much an accepted part of us that we just move on and hardly notice. We accept that our marriage will never be great, we will always be broke, we will never be close to our children and our jobs will always suck. To make matters worse, we often travel with a stinky crowd that accepts all of this just as the norm.
The reality is that it is way easier just to keep moving forward with things as they are verses taking the time to scrub away the mediocrity that is holding us back. Many of us also do not have a good friend that can look us square in the eye and say, “dude you stink!”
Fortunately for me have my wife, church, friends and others that are willing to crawl into my heart and let me know when a change is needed. For better or worse, I am also my own worst critic and seldom cut myself a break.
What about you? Do you have friend standing by with a good bar of soap? Have you and your partner set proper ground rules to ensure your feedback is out of love and not out of hurt? Do you take time to look deep inside to make sure you are not working to be a champion of unhappiness.
If not maybe it is time to turn a new direction and start that PhD of inner peace. Just don’t look back at that bear and get to running.
Getting on track again
I have been a little uninspired these last several months as far as blog writing for some reason. It was a busy summer with work (new boss) family (teen son) and Scouts (trip to Philmont). Now fall is approaching and I find myself in a difficult in between life event time. These are times when I find myself seeking a future goal to achieve and reflecting on my recent past. Looking back, I am finding myself once again wishing I had done more. More time in prayer, more time in deep conversation with my teen son, more time showing Michelle that I love her, more time being a mentor to the youth in our Troop, more time helping my team improve performance…. This list seems to go on and on.
The truth is that I never feel I am doing enough yet at the same time I also know I can’t do it all.
Glancing through my personal journal this morning a run across these questions that I posted more than five years ago:
• What are YOU passionate about?
• What has God put in YOU?
• What needs can God use YOU to meet?
• What breaks YOUR heart?
• What are YOU uniquely equipped and called to do?
What are my answers? Time to ponder and pray for answers.
What about you? What are your answers to these powerful questions?
Time is flying by..
It is hard believe that our son just weeks ago from completed his freshman year of high school. The realization that everyday day brings my wife and I another step closer to him moving on to college and life as an adult has hit me hard lately. Well and there is the whole turning 45 recently too.
The future is sitting hard on me. Much of it is financial with the expenses that come with children and time marching towards retirement. Trendy clothes, summer camps, a car (yikes!) and of course there is college. The current cost per year of an in state school is estimated at close to $20,000 per year if you include room and board when figuring expenses. The roller coaster that is life working for a company that has layoffs most every spring also does not help at times.
So how did this first year of high school go? Overall I would say Conner experienced success and the challenges one might expect as a student in a very diverse 6A public school. He made new friends, found himself with a new passion for music (jazz) and made his way through the maze that is teen high school life. Looking back, I am amazed at everything he accomplished and am proud of his choices
The picture of the man he will be in the future seems to be clearer all the time. I see a man that does not follow the crowd, respects others, loves to laugh, works hard, is a servant, is a leader, and more. Luckily he is many of the things I was not at his age and all of these are good.
We never know as parents what our child really feels inside. We hope their hearts are mostly filled with joy of the present and positive hope for the future. We know that at times it is filled with pain, self-doubt and questions. We pray that the positive and negative experiences of youth are simple building blocks to the trials that will come as an adult.
As father’s day approaches, I am so thankful to have such a wonderful son. Being a dad is the greatest of my responsibilities and the greatest of joys as well.
New Dads—Don’t let miss a moment of your child’s growth. They will indeed be gone before you know it.