Monday, November 2, 2009

I am a fraud...


I am a fraud…

There I said it and it feels so good.

David #1 (the David I desire to be)

Charming, thin, athletic, wonderful husband, greatest dad, Bible reader, friend, listener, prayer warrior, leader, adventurer, mentor, grateful volunteer, joyful giver, difference maker…..

David (the David I seem to be more often)

Overeater, couch potato, distracted husband, impatient father, selfish leader, negative thinker, reluctant giver, life skater….

At least I have good company. Paul says in Romans
“ What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.” Later he says, “I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. (from The Message)

Gosh his words could be my own. Could they be yours? Do you struggle with the person you are vs. the person you want to be? It seems so often that the desires of our heart do not translate positively into the actions of our hands and feet.

I would love to add another sentence with some grand guru advice on how to solve this conundrum for you and I but have no words to give. My only hope is the same hope that Paul later expresses.

“Is there no one who can do anything for me?” “The answer, thank God is that Jesus Christ can and does”

A new month has arrived and it is time to get my heart working to get my hands and feet moving. I so pray that you will do the same. Even if we fail at times at least we are trying.

How have you solved this problem? How do you get your actions to match your dreams and plans?

3 comments:

  1. Hi David. Welcome to Procrastinators Anonymous...and Couch Potatoes Anonymous...and "WHy did I eat that last donut when I really wasn't that hungry" Anonymous....and Impatient Fathers Club of America...Olympic Life Skaters Unite...and...

    Man, why do you have to bring up all the hard stuff? I have learned to lower my expectations so low that I can't be disappointed...really. I know that sounds like the epitome of what you are talking about but it really means I expect myself to live in a fallen world and I live by grace alone. I suck (in short) and I need God to change me. Do I give up...no. I resign myself to God's mercy and grace and pray for healing, energy, moral direction, hope, love for my wife, patience with my kids, wisdom (never hurts to throw that one out there for God to answer), self control (which I sorely lack) and the other things I wish I could be but aren't (and things are not looking good in those areas for the future either).

    God helps me to relax, accept what I can't change and gives me enough love and mercy for todays walk. That's all I want and can handle.

    My actions stopped meeting my dreams a long time ago...I let that go too. I stopped draming the hard, impossible stuff and just asked the Lord to place the dreams there that HE WANTED...

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  2. Not to brag but I think I am frauder than you....heh, heh.

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  3. Great post David. For me the key is to know that this is one matter in which I cannot work from my strengths. I must rely on the Holy Spirit to convict and guide me in a direction that is counter-intuitive to what I want to do many times. Knowing we can't do it on our own is often the first step.

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